Смс на английском языке

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If I lose my lips,
I\'ll kiss You from my eyes...
If I lose my eyes,
I\'ll see You from my heart...
If I lose my heart..
only because of You....

Do you know what the word FUCK means?
F - 4ever love you;
U - unhappy without you;
C - care about you;
K - kiss you,
so FUCK you my dear!!!

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.

Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...

All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ...

Lots of people stop working once they found a job!

I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.

Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.

The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.

I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen!

10.000 new jobs ... all tax inspectors?!

Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.

As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.

I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now.

Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ...

Keep the school clean ... stay home!

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!

The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Evrything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you..SO, HELLO

No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems

That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.

The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist

It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.

It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live

It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.

It's the heart afraid of Breaking ... that never learns to dance.

Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down.

Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it.

A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ...

When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!

Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !

Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.

I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.

Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !

No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?"

I love working. I can look at it for hours.

We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.

Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.

Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !

You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?

My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.

I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.

It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.

Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!

Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!

Umm...your .... ZIP is open...

Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.

Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside...

File not found! Nobody leaves the room!

Men get and forget Women give and forgive

To do is to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra)

370HSSV 0773H .... Can you crack this code? No? ... OK, Turn your phone upside down!

What is the meaning of FANTA? Fuck And Never Touch Again!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye.
A flower can kiss a butterfly.
Wine can kiss a frosted glass.
But u my friend can kiss my ass!

How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it

A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!

Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!

Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.

Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.

I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.

I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.

Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good

Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.

Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!

Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.

Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!

I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!

This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it, i i l i lo i lov i love i love y i love yo i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!

Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER

There was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together.

A mans ocupation is to stick his cockulation up a wommens ventulation to increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down!

Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!

Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!

Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!

A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!

Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock!

Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!

LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!

Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!

I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!

There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?

Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum

D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!

Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make me cum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!

Bak 2 bak,front 2 front,on d table,lick d cunt,stick it in,do ur ting,do it hard & make her sing,tense ur body feel d cum,den let it rip into her bum!

Twinkle, twinkle little rectum big cocks cum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.

Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.

Im a little girl i have a little thing when i go 2 bed i put my finger in. now i'm much older my thing has lost its charm now it takes 5 fingers and 1/2 a fuckin arm.

Tere waz an old man from Glotham, who took out his balls 2 washem. His motha sed Jak, if u dont putem back, il step on da cunts and squash em

Love me tender love me sweet, put your lips around my meat,watch me smile watch me grin, wacht me cum run down yor chin!!

It's a hard life being a penis, you have a head with no brain, one eye that's blind, 2 neighbours that are nuts, the others an arsehole & your best mates a cunt

If you erase this message u owe me a kiss, if you save this message u owe me sex, if you send this message 2 anyone u owe me both so when do i collect???

There was a cat and a rooster sitting by the creek. The cat fell into the water and the rooster laughed. LESSON: For every wet PUSSY, there's a happy COCK!

Tips on giving blow jobs: 1. If you do it for lust -SPIT IT 2. If you do it for love-SWALLOW IT 3. But if you wanna show off- GARGLE IT

When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And apon my headstone will be seen, here liies the bones of a fucking machine.

GOVERNMENT WARNING: Eating pussy is dangerous to your health bcoz its 5% urine, 2% period blood, 1% tampondebris, 2% other guys spoof and 90% fuckn brilliant!!

Ive been a muff diver 4many a year.Ive spent all my money on muff divin gear,the goggles,the snorkle the muffdivin tank.If im not out muff divin,im havin a wank

Id ride u sitting id ride u lying, if u were a bird id ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten ill dig u up and ride u rotten

Sex drugs rock & roll, speed weed & birth control , life a bitch & then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high! send this to 5 people or have 7 yrs bad SEX

Im A rincess I Live In The Clouds If You Wanna Kick It Wit Me You Betta Bow Down So Get On You Knees And Call Me Your Highness Cuz baby Believe me im Louisiana's finest!

Sing a song of bum sex, an arse full of cum,4&20 fat cocks forced up your bum, wen the orgys over & ur bum begins to sting,wasnt it a bad idea to take it up the ring!!

Ur so sexy,ur so fine!u no how 2 blow my mind!rub me down and rub me up,stk ur cock rite up my muff!

if the sea was vodka and i was a duck id sink to the bottom and drink my way up but the sea isnt vodka and im not a duck so reply to this message if you fancie a fuck

Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

Rozes are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happend to you????

Roses are red, violines are blue, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.

Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

Sex is like nokia(connecting people)... like nike(just do it)...like pepsi(ask for more)... like coca-cola(enjoy)...=)) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

Birdy birdy in the sky,
Left a poopie in my eye.
Me don’t care, me don’t cry,
Me just happy, that a cow can’t fly!

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